Darkly's Drabbles
by Lord Darkly
Summary: A place to store my personal ideas and plot-bunnies for the world of Naruto. Expect Humor, Drama, Adventure, Horror, Alternate Chapters, and general chaos all around.
1. Resurrection

Thud. Thud. Thud.

The monotonous hammering continued, as Sasuke Uchiha frowned in deep concentration.

Thud. Thud.

A voice was heard calling from the outside.

"Sasuke! You have to stop this!" A woman's voice screamed.

The last Uchiha grit his teeth. That was probably Sakura.

"This is the way it should be." He called firmly. His black hair swirled as he turned his head to face the door.

"You don't mean that Sasuke! Please, just come back out! We can talk things ove-"

"No."

He spoke with finality, and after forming a single handseal, there was silence in the room.

With that, Sasuke turned back to what he had been working on.

Stretched over a massive stone table, the only one in the small stone room, were dozens of scrolls laid open. On the sides, numerous scribbles could be seen. These were the notes of an obsessed man looking for a solution.

Behind him, he heard a soft slithering sound.

"Ku ku, to think you were working on something as complicated as this." The snake sannin grinned amusedly. "I can't say I'm surprised. You always were a stubborn one."

Sasuke clenched his fist, but said nothing.

"Will it work?" He asked curiously. "I assure you, I have studied the subject quite thoroughly, and so far as I know-"

"It'll work."

Orochimaru grinned at that. "I look forward to seeing it then."

Sasuke bent up from the table, and walked over to the wooden coffin lying against the wall. It had been hand-crafted by Hashirama those ten years ago, before the old Hokage had returned to the afterlife.

It was nothing less than his friend deserved.

Outside, an earth-shattering quake shook the room, sending dust falling from the ceiling. It pounded again and again, and behind him, Sasuke could see the wooden door cracking ever so slowly.

It figured that even the strongest seals in the world wouldn't keep Sakura out for long.

Sasuke, the Sixth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf, turned away from the door for the last time. He collected himself, and then with purpose strode up to the wooden coffin.

He slipped easily into the firm wood. He was a little too tall for the it, but the man couldn't care less.

It wasn't meant for him.

As the Snake Sannin watched with interest, Sasuke flashed through handseal after handseal. The pattern seemed endless, weaving and pulling Chakra in complex ways.

Then, with a final handseal, he slid to the back of the coffin, sighing in exhaustion.

As his body started glowing with inner light, he turned to the old snake, wearing the first smile he'd had in nearly ten years.

"The Impure Resurrection was always flawed." He said to Orochimaru. "But they never understood why."

Sasuke shuddered, before continuing. "There was no sacrifice. They only offered a corpse, and so the result was impure."

He looked the Sannin in the eye.

"Only a life can pay for a life."

The snake grinned widely, his teeth reflecting the light.

"How interesting."

Sasuke continued to glow brighter and brighter, until even the enhanced eyes of the old Sannin couldn't take it, and he turned away covering them.

Inside the glow, Sasuke Uchiha, last bearer of the Sharingan, closed his eyes.

"This is where it ends." He muttered, before the light exploded out in a wave of energy. It shook the cavern, and blasted the wooden door off its hinges. The Snake Sannin was thrown against the wall, mostly unharmed.

When the body's eyes opened again, to the stunned face of Sakura Haruno, the face smiled warmly.

They were a deep, cerulean blue.


	2. Eyes of Despair

**A/N: The following is rated M for Mature.**

* * *

Naruto: Eyes of Despair

* * *

"Die Nine-Tailed Demon Fox from six years ago!" The angry drunken villager mob yelled at the small boy.

The blond struggled weakly to his feet, but a thrown beer bottle smacked him on the head and knocked him down.

"That's for smiling at my daughter you bastard!" A pink-haired voice screamed. The noise sounded remarkably like how one would describe a banshee.

"Let's kick the shit out of him!"

"YEAH!"

Four hours later, the blond crawled out of the dumpster he had been dumped in. Thankfully, his ear, right testicle, tongue, uvula and coccyx had all grown back while he was unconscious.

"Welp. Better go steal some scrolls from the dumpsters, since nobody will teach me anything." Naruto said to himself glumly.

It was then, that in front of him the boy saw a shimmering form of a man. His hair was white, and his two eyes were ringed and… purple?

"Naruto. You must go to- kzz.. — ."

The boy frowned in confusion.

" zkkz..-egoba system. . tdra.."

"Um, you're cutting out a bit." He said.

The holographing figure clasped its head exasperated.

"Damn cru-kz-y reception. Look kid. You have the eyes, yatta y-z.,-tta, use them well. Adios."

Then, he shimmered away, presumably off to go do mystical things.

Naruto looked down at the muddy puddle filled entirely with his own blood.

Two ringed eyes looked back at him.

The boy grinned a feral grin. One might even call it "foxy", should they have seen it.

"Now I'll show them. I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!"

What followed was not by any means maniacal laughter.

* * *

Meanwhile, deep in the sewers of Naruto's mind, the fox was brandishing a comically large 90s flip-phone angrily.

"What do you mean they're making me a chick?" He roared at the black device.

"No John, you listen to me. I'm calling my agent, because this is BULLS**T. I did not sign up for this garbage."

A few crackling mutters were heard through the device.

"WHAT?" The fox yelled. "Teaching him jutsu? And what the fuck is up with this "kit" bullshit? I signed up to play a demon dammit, not some kid's fucking furry fantasy!"

"No I will not calm down! I've been preparing for this role for a month now! Do you have any idea how much set up work I've put into this? DO YOU?"

"Fuck this. Get Thomson on the line. Tell him it's urgent."

With that, he slammed the phone shut with a snap.

* * *

"What do you mean I can't be a ninja!" The blond yelled indignantly.

Hiruzen merely shook his head.

"Naruto, no matter what kind of "magic powers" you conveniently got after storming out of here yesterday, I'm afraid you're simply too young."

The boy's eyes were brimming with tears.

"But Jiji, I just want to be able to protect myself from them..." He trailed off suggestively.

"From who? What's been going on?"

Naruto merely shook his head in shame. "I... I know you can't do anything about the villagers, because of the council and all, but-"

The aged hokage held up his hand for silence, and leaned in closely.

"Naruto. Tell me exactly what happened."

* * *

"How in the hell did this happen?" The hokage yelled angrily, slamming his hand down on the oaken desk. Across from him, five ANBU looked sheepish.

"Well sir, it's the council you see. They told us we'd been reassigned to somewhere else, so they could... um.."

Despite the impossibility of it, the hokage's expression deepened further.

"Let me get this straight. The ANBU Black Ops, an organization which I personally control and consists of the most powerful shinobi in the village, lacks the intellectual or physical capacity necessary to protect a SIX YEAR OLD BOY FROM A MOB?"

His next smash split the wood of the desk in half.

"WHAT THE HELL DO I PAY YOU PEOPLE FOR?" He roared at them.

One of the ANBU raised his hand quiveringly.

"WHAT?"

His voice wouldn't have sounded out of place coming from a thirteen year old girl.

"But... the council.."

The following explosion would be remembered for decades as a great historical event of Konoha by most.

For five though, it would be the stuff of nightmares.

* * *

"Shinra Tensei!" Naruto yelled exuberantly.

The dreaded mob that had been approaching with various torches and stakes, went flying back in a manner that could only be described as hilarious.

Had the boy ever played Skyrim, he might have felt a primal glee at having gained the power to FUS-RO-DAH people at will.

But he had not, because the dreaded council turned off his cable.

And smashed his Xbox.

The bastards.

* * *

Sitting on his giant throne consisting entirely of girls, Sasuke set down his hand mirror as he sneezed loudly.

When the girl in front of him looked up, the boy snarled.

"Did I tell you to stop?"

"N..No Sasuke.."

"Then finish up. I must revive my clan. Also, fuck Naruto."

"Do I have to?"

"No. Get back to work."

* * *

"Bring us his head!" One of the villagers shouted angrily from his seat.

Next to him, a pink-haired woman was speaking similarly.

"He has assaulted us physically in a blatant attack against our wellbeing!" A warehouse owner yelled. His hair was blown all over the place, and the tips were muddy from where he had landed.

Hiashi nodded with obvious agreement.

Across the table from them, Hiruzen turned to regard his fellow clan heads gravely.

His words could only be described as profound.

"Just who the hell are these people, and how do they keep getting in our _secret_ Council Meetings?"

Over in a shadowy part of the table, Danzo tugged at his collar uncomfortably.

This was not going as planned.

* * *

"I'm sorry Hinata, but the council said they have the power to banish me." Naruto said sadly.

The girl looked heartbroken. It was so unfair, how they attacked him, called him a demon, and cut off various body parts.

"I have to go, but you should stay here. It's safer."

The girl paused, before looking up resolutely.

"No Naruto. I'm staying with you. I refuse to become another one of Sasuke's girls. My father wants me to marry him."

The blond looked sympathetic.

"Ouch. Maybe you better come with me then. I bet the Rinnegan gives me the power to improve the Hyuuga clan techniques by like, ten times."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, can probably find flaws in the perfect defense too. Because I'm awesome."

* * *

Meanwhile, over in the Hyuuga Branch Compound, Neji was doing evil things.

Because he was a bastard.

And evil.

And hated Naruto.

* * *

Over near one of Konoha's many hot springs, Kakashi and Jiraiya were lounging contentedly.

The masked man turned after a while, and spoke.

"Hey. You ever feel like we forgot something?"

"Probably not important."

"Yeah. Probably."

And so, they continued to relax.


	3. Paperwork

The fourth Hokage of the Hidden Leaf brought his pen around with a flourish, signing his name in dark ink against the white parchment.

He grinned, and reached out for the next paper to deal with.

The words brought a smile to his face. One of the Wind Daimyo's daughters was interested in touring the village. With long practiced skills, the Hokage wove his pen in a neat signature, and passed it along into his approved pile.

With every swish of his pen, the man liked to imagine he was making the world just a little bit better. That feeling kept him hard at work day after day, contenting him with the knowledge that he was solving diplomacy without bloodshed. Without pain or loss.

He'd seen the brutalities of war, and the problems that came with it. Keeping such a fate at bay was not only his duty, but his personal promise to the people of Konoha. Agreement after agreement passed under his fingertips, each being signed in detail.

Of course, a few did not pass the Hokage's scrutiny. Minato took special care to read through each of the incoming papers, reveling in the fact that rather than fighting with kunai and wire, his enemies were fighting with _words._

Harmless words. More than a few officials had tried the time-tested tactic of filling their paperwork with mindless repetitions, to allow certain details to pass unnoticed.

Minato felt a small twinge of pride every time he found one of these details.

_This_ was a way he could contribute.

His wife unfortunately, did not understand his joy.

"How can you get so into this stuff?" She'd often ask him, staring at the many stacks of papers that went through his hands. He would smile knowingly, recognizing that while his wife had many strengths, understanding this feeling was likely not among them.

And so he worked. Signature after signature. His assistant would alert him for lunch every day, something he made sure to always thank her for. A nervous little thing, she always ensured he didn't work himself too hard, and often mixed in a few of the more exciting papers to brighten his day.

Ah, this one looked exciting. A man was petitioning for the Konoha Orphanage to receive additional funding.

With a smile, he added a quick signature to the paper.

They could afford it after all. Without endless war draining their funds, their bank was always opening up for public renovation.

What problems would he solve today?

What wars would he avert?

How many lives would he improve with the swish of his pen?

It was a challenge, and he _reveled_ in it. Between it and his personal research, the Fourth Hokage accomplished more in his short life than many thought possible.

One can only imagine the direction the world would have turned had it not been cut short.

But that is neither here nor there. One thing could be said in certainty about the young man, who contributed so much.

Minato _loved_ his paperwork.

* * *

**A/N: Nothing much. Just a 500 word drabble to warm up with.**

**I find it amusing when authors use the classic "hates paperwork" cliche on Minato. With Tsunade and Naruto, it makes perfect sense for them to find it boring and monotonous, but the Fourth?**

**You'd think he'd love the stuff, for all the reasons described. **

**Anyway, I hope you found it entertaining. Expect more short drabbles in the future. **

**-Darkly **


End file.
